Monday, January 21

The bar, the car, the street

I'm already over the starting-a-band thing from my last post. I've also stopped singing Les Mis in the shower and have moved onto The Supremes, which is always a hit with the cats, hahaha

Thank you so much to whoever nominated me for Best Female Overall in the 20sb bootlegs. I'm in very good company and I can't wait to see which one of us ends up winning that one! Good luck to all - the poll is here for any 20sb members that haven't voted yet! I believe voting ends on the 23rd.

WHAT'S GOING ON, IS IT SOME SORT OF SOLSTICE? This long weekend has been so great. The planets must be aligned in some ideal way. I napped on the beach for a few hours yesterday, after recapping the FUNNEST night. I'm also learning that it doesn't matter if I have one drink or 10 drinks: I will feel like shit for the entirety of the following day. Who gets a hangover without getting drunk? I do, of course. Remember when I was a sophomore in college and used to go shot-for-shot with Bacardi 151 with my guy friends and wake up with no hangover? I'm just being punished now for being an idiot 7 years ago. Oh my god, that was 7 years ago. 

Cindy and I attempted to enjoy Bacon Social Saturday night, but the art sucked and the music sucked and the crowd sucked. The BLT and the comfy couch across from a TV that was showing Charlotte's Web were the only things that I enjoyed. How do you fuck up a Bacon Social? I feel angry about it. It was an art show...with bacon. I could've created something really incredible with those two things. All I know is that the band we saw was so bad that the room actually cleared. How do I create my own art show? It sounds like something I'd be REALLY good at putting together. I have enough artist/designer/photographer friends, I should just start planning. 

I am 2 different people, all the time. Hanna on your left shoulder does nice things for other people and accepts everyone, and she teaches you how to see all of the beauty in the world. She goes to bed at 11 and eats greek yogurt (and works out, but not as often as she should because Daylight Savings Time fucked up her favorite running path). Hanna on your right shoulder falls into bed after 5am and does questionable things that she rarely feels remorse for. The only thing that seems to decide which Hanna appears is the shoulder of the person I'm hanging out on. I'm usually only comfortable in strange situations; "normal" is so boring that it makes me itch. I thrive in environments that allow me to be inappropriate and interesting. I doubt I'll ever be able to change that, and that's just fine.

I'm making it sound like I don't understand myself, but that's not it; it's just weird that whatever I write speaks to two entirely different groups of people: those who see me act like an asshole and those who think I'm a mouse.

I had a laugh with my Mom today when I told her about some of the things I've been doing lately and she mentioned that she did the same exact shit when she was my age. I'm willing to bet some of my actions align with my Dad too, even though we haven't discussed it haha.

I am in soooo much trouble.


  1. Sounds to me like you're living.

  2. I think you're doing just fine Hanna. Life is there to be lived, so live it. Live the shit out of it!

  3. "Who gets a hangover without getting drunk?" ::raises hand:: Red wine will get me every time, whether I drink one glass or five.

    Also, congrats on your 20SB nomination!

    1. Ugh I want to say I'm glad I'm not the only one, but I'm not glad. It's not something to be glad about at all. haha

      And thanks!! I was up against some pretty amazing ladies, I'm happy Melbourne on my Mind won!

  4. Hold up, did you say bacon social???


    More importantly, like you I'm wondering how the hell you can screw that up. You have to be seriously /trying/ to mess with that shit on purpose. I'm mad and I didn't even go, wtf.


    1. this is exactly what I though about all of it. i sat there the entire time going, "I got my friends all excited for this event and they are not going to like it at all"

  5. I feel I've got a Lauren on each shoulder, too. The more fun, spontaneous, stay out late enough to get diner breakfast in the morning before going home Lauren feels more and more like a thing of the past. In some ways that is good; I, too am victim to the mid to late 20s hangover curse. In a lot of other ways, it sucks. What happened to moving to Paris for a year? And all of those cafes I was going to play music in? And the clothing I was going to design?

    Other Lauren, teacher Lauren, effed all that up by getting a job that required a 9 PM bedtime and a slaughtered social life.

    Lauren in the middle is so happy to have left that job, and is trying to find a balance somewhere between those two extremes. The tightrope is thin.

    1. very, very thin indeed. you should probably still go to Paris ;)