Thursday, November 1

Another human interest story



I love this Niagara Detroit giclee.

The music I listen to is different lately. I never got into punk and I always hated The Pretenders (maybe I just hated I'll Stand By You? The chord progressions in that song make me GAG), but I suddenly started listening to them and fell in love with this song, among others. I started listening to Butthole Surfers and a song called Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues by Fight Like Apes. I started listening the The Velvet Underground and Patti Smith and more Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds and I feel really grateful for music that isn't constantly about love and sunshine and rainbows because it's so much more interesting. Melodies are more complex, chords are more dissonant. I love that kinda stuff even when it has nothing to do with my mindset. I want to be impressed and wonder how they thought of such complex stuff in a song.

The concept of always being decently happy is fucking weird, you guys. Why shouldn't we want to feel everything that there is to feel? I might get pissed off or annoyed or sad, and I might be pretty hard to deal with when I am feeling those things, but let me be very clear: when I am happy I am GLOWING from it because I genuinely appreciate it. I am noticing the tiniest things and seeing everything with rose colored glasses and smiling to myself on the bus and feeling so much love while I watch a homeless man and an elderly man talk about philosophy and marbles and guitars (all in one conversation!) and I feel weightless. If you can feel that same sense of euphoria all the time, more power to you. I'm sincerely jealous. Buuuuut when I think about the people that are "happy all the time" as they put it, they usually just seem boring and desensitized, and I don't believe them. Boring isn't happy. Boring is boring.

I will always want to be fascinated, no matter how emotional I have to get and how hard I have to work to experience it.

I think I've finally met my quarter-life crisis? Haha except within me it has become something resembling a personal renaissance. Feels just fine, I must say.

Oooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, give me your opinions because I'm sure everyone has some.

10 comments:

  1. One of the most cheerful people I know looooves death metal. It's weird. I've recently gotten into 1990s alternative -- Nirvana, Pearl Jam, etc. -- even though I *hated* those bands in the early '90s. I have no idea why, but I think your post helps explain it.

    I had a post a while back posing the question, "Is happiness a mental disorder?" Doctors have been looking into it. And I think they're right -- it just isn't normal!

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    1. I love it too! Sometimes when I'm really happy I like to listen to Deep by Danzig cause it makes me explode with energy. And I LOVE 90s alternative. Hole especially...lots of misery in music in that genre too and it still makes ME really happy for some reason hahaha.

      I'm a pretty happy person usually, or at least energetic and animated if not happy, but I really appreciate the ability to be realistic about things...and real life isn't always happy lol.

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  2. You are right - we need to feel the range of emotions we're capable of. Sadness is healthy (to a degree) - crying is therapeutic, so is anger to a point (if you have something to be genuinely angry about). When you know where your lows are it just makes the highs that much sweeter. I love days when I catch myself in a moment and think, "hey, I'm happy today."

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    1. I know, sometimes I'll be on my way to work and I'll realize that I just feel totally giddy for no reason at all. I love that so much, I would never trade it for a lifetime of moderate happiness

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  3. No one can be happy all the time, nor can anyone be unhappy all the time. Not that happy and unhappy are the only two emotions. Life isn't black or white, most of the time it is just grey. But there are many different shades of grey (Many many more than fifty). I always feel that music that conveys pain or sadness is far more authentic than 'happy' music. For me, pain and suffering fuels creativity much more than any other emotional state.

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    1. I just think that even if suffering doesn't fuel my creativity, it at least helps me see the world from a new perspective and that helps me design stuff with way more depth!

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  4. Boring is boring. You're hilarious. I know,I know you left your comment way back in October.I'm playing catch up. Forgive me. You friend lost 20 pounds from juice dieting that is a lot. Hello you know me as Jordan Sky from Deliciously Happy Now it's time I get to know you too.

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    1. Haha take your time! I'm glad you refreshed my memory on which blog you were, I'm terrible at remembering which comments went where, especially after that topic on 20sb! WELCOME and thank you for stopping by my little corner of the internet :) And yeah 20lbs is awesome, he gained it back though...too much of a meat/cheese lover haha

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  5. I like that first comment: "Is happiness a mental disorder?" That actually makes a whole lotta sense!

    I think the people who appear to be happy all the time are doing a really good job of faking it. I don't know how they do it, though. Even on my happiest of days, I experience a range of other emotions, too. The intensity might be toned down a bit from childhood (think Disney World: OMGSOHAPPY there's Jasmine WAITWHYDOESN'TSHELOOKLIKEJASMINE ok time to buy stuff now I love this I BROKE IT I can't wait to go on this ride I'm bored finally here we go! WHOA this is terrifying hey I'm sleepy take me home NOW god that was the best day of my life), but it's allll there. I'm more and more thankful for the happy moments but am trying to take in every emotion as they come.

    (Wow, that was really fun channeling my inner nutjob childhood self!)

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    1. Hahahaha your inner nutjob childhood self was incredibly similar to my inner nutjob teenage self! HEISSOCUTE and his locker is by mine HEBUMPEDINTOMEINTHEHALL he must be in love with me i'm going to do something drastic like writing him a love letter confession HESHOWEDITTOTHESWIMTEAM my life is over IMNEVERTALKINGTOHIMAGAIN i miss him i should apologize OH thank god we're friends again)

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