Sunday, March 24

The same love, the doll parts, the something-is-missing

First things first, my bedroom is on ApartmentTherapy.com! The post is here and you can vote for me by clicking the red heart at the bottom of the post. It will let you log in with Facebook or Twitter so it's quick and painless! I need about...ohhhh...500 votes to get into the top 4 that will carry me through to the final round, and right now I have..........25. Hahahaha. I'm just happy to be in the running.


With that said, there's no need to post the pictures here (I tricked you!! Mothafuckaaas) because they're on AT and you can just see them there when you vote. If I had outtakes I'd post them here, but I was shooting on a weekday morning and therefore making myself late for work, so I only took what I needed to and then ran out the door.

I've had a strange weekend. There was nothing wrong with it; I went to see a screening of Jemal's short film at the Egyptian Theater, went out to eat with lovely people, went dancing in West Hollywood, lounged around, worked...but something felt off. I know what made it feel that way, and it's fine for me to suddenly feel it, especially since I've spent the past 3-4 months after this breakup not really feeling bad at all. It's just strange that it took so long to catch up with me. Friday I realized that I haven't gotten many hugs lately, and there used to be an abundance of them haha. It's all gonna be just fine, I know. Even writing it here makes me feel better. At least this way I'm taking a fistful of the clouds in my head and leaving them here on the internet for someone else to process for a while. THINKING IS SO HARD.

Point being, if you read this and you see me, you should drop everything and gimme a nice creepy bear hug.

From the past few days:



(scary doll head!)




Jemal DRACO it was so wonderful to see your face on the big screen for the first time (and certainly not the last). I love you!

I may just have a ragestorm brewing in my bones today, but I have to take a moment to note something. I LOVE...LOVE love love the blogging community because they are well-worded and thoughtful and the best listeners and friends, but every now and then I encounter one of those people that I can just tell was the kind of kid that always told on other students in school. Sometimes I just wanna crawl through my computer and grab a bitch by the throat. I'M ALREADY FEISTY ENOUGH DON'T MAKE ME WORSE


I am 
doll parts 
bad skin
doll heart


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16 comments:

  1. I like that I know what that last paragraph is referring to and that I thought the exact same thing. Also, OHMIGOD you have the most beautiful eyes in the history of ever! For reals.

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    1. haha I'm glad I'm not alone. I thought it was a little offputting to not only cram her "knowledge" down my throat twice but plug her own blog in the process LOL (no thank you, i don't think i'll be reading more in your latest post, but THANKS FOR TELLING ME AND THEN TELLING ME AGAIN YES THANK YOU I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME AND DIDNT CARE THEN EITHER). I'm sure the intentions were good, buuuuut...

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    2. And shit I forgot to say thank you for the super awesome compliment about my scary doll eyes!! You're the best, FOR REALS

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    3. I kind of hope that she sees this post and replies, in order to start some kind of blog war. I think that would be fun. Although it would probably be against several different sets of terms and conditions soooo maybe it won't happen.

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    4. Shhhh you just wanna see a girl fight. hahaha

      In all honesty I would never start a war with anyone; I don't think it's something I should really be doing at 26 years old, but that doesn't mean I won't say something when I think someone has been quite rude just to try and give themselves some traffic!

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  2. I thiiiiink I know what the last paragraph is referring to as well, and if it is what I'm thinking I was kind of taken aback, too :/

    Good luck with Apartment Therapy! I'm off to vote for ya :D

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    1. THANK YOU for the vote! I know I won't win, but it's really exciting to see my little room standing proud on my favorite website hahaha :)

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  3. Your apartment is so lovely and your face is so pretty! I totally feel you on the lack of hugs post-breakup. I've started sitting innapropriately close to acquaintances on couches to get some human contact.
    I have no idea what the last paragraph is referring to, which makes me worry it is somehow about me, because apparently I was the kind of kid who was too much of a narcissistic worrywort to have time to tell on other students. Heh.

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    1. There just aren't enough hugs for us post-breakup kids. I totally know what you mean - I take a bus to work and every now and then I find myself really enjoying just sitting closely to people. I'm probably the weird girl that everyone looks at and thinks "AVOID AVOID"

      And no nonono, the last paragraph was regarding a comment on the 20sb forums/my last post, not you silly! Go on witcha narcissistic worrywort self.

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    2. Ah yes, parade, meet rain! In other news, you're up to 40! ;)

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  4. I'd give you a hug! Man, I'm sorta jealous that you didn't feel bad after your breakup. I was a mess and am still occasionally stabby feeling about the whole thing.

    The blogging community is great, but can be like high school. It can be cliquey. I always felt like an outsider on 20sb, so I've kinda moved on from that. I love the people who I've "met" - but I needed to step back. It wasn't really helping me grow anymore. I guess it depends what you're trying to get out of it.

    Love your bedroom...I envy your ability to de-clutter. I'm going to die under a pile of my own stuff.

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    1. There are only a few topics I contribute to on the forums, mostly because I feel like it's a group of friends that I'm intruding on at times haha. Starting my own discussions is different, but I don't do that very often either. I love the community itself, though.

      DON'T DIE UNDER A PILE OF YOUR OWN STUFF ALLIWEB. Even though that sentence made me laugh really hard. And sorry you feel stabby, I think I'm just going through a few-week phase and I won't feel so stabby myself after it's over. I'm still pretty happy to be free and be myself! xoxox

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    2. I am a borderline hoarder. I actually hate it though - but I get too overwhelmed by it sometimes so I basically just let it happen because it gets so out of control I can't deal. My bedroom needs a different kind of therapy.

      I actually had a dream last night about my ex. In the dream he had a new girlfriend and I just lost it on her and called her a fat whore. Like screamed at this girl, who is fictional (I assume - he could have a new GF, I just don't know because we don't speak). I believe my dream-self yelled at him too. Not sure why I still have all this anger when we've been broken up for almost a year now. I'm just emotional I guess. Oooo...but I met my perfect match on the weekend, only he doesn't know it. He's a runner, is in a band, goes to art galleries and loves cats.

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  5. Voted! Maybe one day I will have enough space to actually make my bedroom look like something other than a furniture bazaar.

    Also, long distance hugs are absolutely not the same but here you go. ::hug::

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    1. I will treasure that hug FOREEEVVER. Thank you :D

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  6. Ahhh it looks so pretty Hanna!
    I completely feel you on the post-break up feelings and I also agree with Allison that it feels stabby at times, at least for me.

    You're stunning & I'm sure singledom won't last for very long. :)

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