“You’ve got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.” - Tina Fey in Mean Girls
I don't know what it is, or where it came from, or if it's always been there and I just haven't noticed or WHAT.
The majority of the girls from my hometown, and even here in LA, seem to be going through this girl-bashing phase. Even now -- when we're in our mid-20s with careers and engagements and babies on the way and huge hopes for the future and an entire world FULL of inspiration and motivation to do amazing things -- this is what girls choose to talk about.
Think about it this way. You are an adult, and you live in a time period where everyone broadcasts their thoughts. This creates an opportunity for you to display yourself exactly how you want to be seen, to say things that you want people to hear. You are quite literally creating your own image...and this is what you choose to say to the world? You have the opportunity to say anything in the entire world for hundreds or thousands of people to see, and your sentence of choice is, "You want to play games with me? Watch me play them better, sweetie" or, "Why do girls dress like such whores?"
It's not even just the girls my age! I see women in their 40s doing this. I have a family member that has more "girl drama" than her teenage daughter. How incredibly embarrassing.
I think the most frustrating part is that any and all "drama" (I dislike that word so much, I can't even believe I'm using it in a blog) is usually caused by the person complaining of it. When you're easygoing and kind to other people, you don't experience these sorts of problems. Ever.
I find myself caught up in conversations about other people sometimes, but it's not so much girl-bashing as it is confusion about why people do the things that they do. This entire post consists of confusion about why people do what they do. Have you seen that quotation that says, "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people"? I suppose by writing this post I'm being small-minded and guilty of the exact thing that I'm confused about, so let me rephrase:
Here's an idea: We spend so much time talking about other people, and usually those negative opinions stem from some insecurity that we have about ourselves. If we spend that time focusing on knowing/loving ourselves and trying to see the beauty in the world, we will be far less available to spread hatred. There is so much hatred and judgement in this world already, and so many of the girls I see hating on others are coincidentally also the ones posting links about stopping racist attacks or stopping anti-gay protestors. It's not OK for other people (and you're right, it's not OK) but...it's fine for you to do on a smaller scale? Does that really make sense?
This is not a new idea. This is not a new problem. No one ever does a goddamn thing about it. No one feels like changing it or changing themselves, so it will keep getting worse.
Maybe I need someone to explain to me what they feel like they're accomplishing by saying this stuff.
And if you ever catch me doing this, tell me to shut the fuck up. I do not want to be that person.