Monday, February 4

The jungle upbringing, the long strange trip

Have you ever seen a night sky with no light pollution? It will blow your mind. It blows mine every time I fly home. I grew up in the middle of nowhere. No neighbors for miles other than a couple seasonal hunting cabins, no traffic, no hope to get up or down the road in the winter. It is paradise.



Franklinville is an interesting place. There's one stoplight, two dollar stores, and about 400 churches. There were 79 kids in my graduating class, and if I walked into the high school today, all of my teachers would remember me. The benefits of growing up in a small town are huge, but since leaving I've always felt the need to come back and "fix" it. It's a town full of so many people that, for lack of a better description, belong in a small town. There's so much beauty and potential that will never be utilized. All of the businesses that set up shop are almost guaranteed to fail. All of the restaurants have the same maroon and dark green color scheme and serve the same thing. It is a town full of people that survive on Walmart by necessity. And I love it like no other, so I will always suppress the need to change it.

A small town is a healthy thing for people like me to have. I love change, and I thrive on it, but it's a relief to have one little corner of the world that will continue to be exactly what it has always been.





^ This is my parents backyard (and THAT is a brewing thunderstorm)

I feel sad that some people never saw this kind of stuff when they were growing up. I feel like it's all I'm made of. Fresh air is so important.

Do you know how I got to where I am right now? It's like...The Total Asshole's Guide To A Lucky Life. I went to a college that I only chose because it was where my high school band director went and I admired him so much. When I decided I hated my English major after only one semester, I switched to Music Business because learning about contracts and record labels sounded cool, and it would require that I take some basic music classes that I knew I'd love. I didn't take it seriously, especially not the business classes. I got a 49 on my accounting final (Hi Mom!) and I assure you, I am not a stupid girl. I never studied and did almost every paper the night before it was due. I hated college with the exception of the music classes.

The spring semester of my junior year found me taking a student record label class that made me reach out to artists that I'd want to sign. A friend named Kenny had a link to Grace Potter and the Nocturnals in his AIM info and I fell so deeply in love with their latest album (which was then Nothing But The Water) but didn't feel like trying to use them for my record label project. I still sent them a MySpace message and asked them if they needed help with anything. It took one day to hear back from them, and a week later I was on the phone with their manager, talking about managing a street team and doing marketing. A week after that I was on the phone with a man who offered me an internship and, after a full senior year spent working on managing the street team and working on a viral marketing campaign (which I took seriously, unlike college itself), offered me a job in LA immediately after I graduated. I started full-time work the Monday after I graduated, and moved to LA 2 months later.


It had nothing to do with my education. It had nothing to do with college at all other than the fact that I spent too much time looking at people's AIM info. Being a lazy ass literally is the reason that I'm in LA. Even though I've worked incredibly hard and taken a lot of chances, that first step was pretty much just handed to me.

The funniest part is that I remember sitting at my desk during my Junior year and thinking to myself, "Whatever, I'm just going to put everything off because everything I want usually just falls into my lap without me trying anyway." I AM AN ASSHOLE.

And my life still works that way. If I want something bad enough, it will happen.

The band has taken quite a turn from their original sound, and it's not one that I like (so much pop, so little blues), but I still love them by default. How can I ever stop loving the one thing that changed my entire life? I can't.

I am fucking lucky, you guys. I'm lucky and I'm thankful every day.

--

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37 comments:

  1. I love you, but after the soul crushing day I've had I'm giving you the finger! You can't see it, but it's real :P

    I'm an asshole too. Just not a lucky one.

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    1. HAHAHA, I am taking your finger and bending it into a smile and putting it on your face. Soul-crushing?! What happened :(

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    2. This post just came on a bad day. I was all excited because a lady from HR at a publishing company was supposed to call me today. And I set myself up to believe that this would lead to a job opportunity. In the end she basically said the only way in was for me to go back to school. It was just disappointing. I'm sure I can go back to school - so expensive. Anyways - that's awesome that you happened to be at the right place and talking to the right people.

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  2. I wish I could be lucky :(

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    1. I LOVE YOU! Crap, is this post just gonna make people feel bad?

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  3. You have amazing luck! I think there's also a bit of you that got you to where you are. Incredible journey thus far!

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    1. It's been the MOST wonderful adventure. And you are absolutely right - I'm lucky, but I've taken A LOT of chances. xoxoxo

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  4. Not at all, I love this post :) This is why I moved back to a small town, I just never was a big city girl. And I love the fresh air and stars. Gosh, I missed the stars!

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    1. They're one of the things I miss most. Some nights there are so many that I can't even concentrate on what I'm really seeing or I'll being to feel totally overwhelmed. It is just SO beautiful :)

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  5. I spent a few nights in te desert in Egypt once, as a London boy that is the only time I've ever seen stars with no light pollution. Not going to lie, it was awsome.

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  6. That looks a lot like the town I started out in, Binghamton, NY. I think resisting the urge to try to change the people in that small town is the most difficult part.

    I met a blogger a few years back. She was from NYC and had never seen a rainbow. Sad.

    Must be nice to be sure that things will turn out your way without putting in much effort. I know people that firmly believe that things will fall into their laps, but it never happens; yet, they still continue to live through that scope.

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    1. Never seen a rainbow?! Oh my gosh.

      I do put in a lot of effort, but everything usually happens in a way that makes me feel like I could've done nothing and fate still would have found me. I don't get it, but I appreciate it. I've just always done what felt right to me and I seem to get rewarded for it?

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  7. The pure night sky, sounds belittling...in a good way.I'm jealous. Sounds like you literally live in the best of both worlds. You ARE an asshole. ha

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  8. I read a blog post the other day from a girl in NYC who said she'd never seen a starry sky until her early 20s. I was like, SAY WHAAA? That is just unfathomable to me. I still debate on whether I could handle living in the thick of a city or in the middle of nowhere. I hate to say it, but I'm somewhere in the middle... which makes me a complete fucking suburbanite. But then, that's all I've known so far. I'm ready to change it up. :)

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    1. Unfathomable is right. How do people LIVE without being able to see all those stars?! I love LA, but I miss it so much.

      Yes yessss you just change it right up, right over here in LA!

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  9. Although luck may have a bit to do with it, you can't deny that you, yourself are in control of your own destiny. Your mom didn't message Grace Potter and the Nocturnals for you, you did it yourself! You are an incredibly bright and talented person, and good things happen to bright and talented people!

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    1. Nope! I did it myself, and I know nothing would have happened if I didn't constantly feel the need to put myself out there. I guess I'm just always gonna feel a little surprised at how easily things can come together when you're in the right place at the right time. Life is just fascinating, ya know?

      Thank you my darling!! XO

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  10. That's so cool how everything just lined up for you to get that job in L.A. Loved reading this post. I've been holding onto the semi-delusional belief that if I keep doing what I'm doing, some opportunity will eventually fall out of the sky. Your story just confirmed that things like that can indeed happen and I am not entirely delusional. Haha.

    Also, those are beautiful pictures of where you grew up.

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    1. it's not delusional at all, I truly believe that if you do what feels right and let your instincts control you instead of a clouded head/other peoples opinions, you'll be rewarded for it. I hope something falls out of the sky for you ASAP! And thank you, about the pictures. It's the most beautiful place on earth :D

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  11. Those are beautiful pictures. I lived in a small town for a couple of years, but I eventually moved back to Chicago. I always wondered what it would have been like to grow up in that little town though. Life seemed so much calmer there. Thanks for letting me live through you a little bit!

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    1. Do you ever go back to check it out? I wouldn't be able to stay away :D

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  12. I remember FREAKING OUT senior year about what I wanted to do and what the hell was I supposed to do if I couldn't get a job aaaaahhhhhhh x a million. But hey, it all worked out. I landed an internship which led to a job and I was very happy with both. Part of me still wants to travel the world and teach English in Asia or something, but perhaps I'll be able to work at a company that will transfer me to where I want to go in the world without me having to live out of a backpack. Although part of me still wants to live out of a backpack. Hmmmmm.

    The first time I saw a clear, clear night sky - no pollution, lights or otherwise - I think I was 17 years old. I was in Africa, and I'll never forget the feeling of looking up to an inky black, starry sky and thinking to myself, "So this is what a natural night sky looks like."

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    1. You know the weirdest thing? I don't remember EVER freaking out about what I was going to do with my life after high school or college. I never even thought about it. One of my riskier moves. But then again, usually when we feel that relaxed about something, it's because we know it's all going to work out.

      I can't even imagine being in Africa and looking up at a pure night sky. Africa is at the top of my live-out-of-a-backpack list :D I know a few people that taught English in Asia and absolutely loved it! If you know it'd make you happy I say GO FOR IT

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  13. What a gorgeous blog! What beautiful pictures. I have yet to see the sky without pollution that's why it's my dream to go to Africa or Alaska, I'm sure it's beautiful there.

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  14. Really glad I made my way here from 20sb.net - This was a cool post and I totally empathize with everyone here wishing I could have this kind of luck - or even just be able to will cool stuff to me.

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you made it this way too :D Haha it wasn't my intention to make everyone wish their lives were different, yikes! I sometimes just feel totally blown away by how things have taken shape for me

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  15. Wow, you totally grew up in like... Dawson's Creek. I am super jealous!

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  16. I love the way you describe where you grew up, that's exactly how it is where my Mom lives, too. Now that I live in the city I am fascinated by the blank night sky and absolute sound of "nothing."

    I've been considering moving to Venice Beach (always wanted to live in Cali), but still sometimes wonder if I'd rather move somewhere quiet and obsolete where I can have lots of land to myself and no neighbors for half a mile. It's such a good feeling.

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    1. It's a big shift that takes a lot of getting used to, but California - Venice especially - is still pretty relaxing. But you definitely won't see a lot of stars :( I get excited when I can see more than 10 in the sky

      I love the sound of "nothing." Especially when it's snowing and the air just feels thick with nothingness. So cool

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  17. And I thought I was "sort of" a country girl. Uh. Guess not!! Gorgeous, gorgeous place to grow up!! Thanks so much for dropping by. :) You're ridiculously pretty, by the way (I'm trying to point that out in the least creepy way possible).

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    1. AW! Thanks Danie :D Not even a little creepy, just makin' me smile

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  18. where you grew up is beautiful! i grew up in a ridiculously tiny town as well, but it's nothing like that.. the flattest land of all time and somehow still tons of light pollution. the first time i saw the night sky in its full beauty was last summer when i worked at camp. it literally took my breath away; it didn't seem real.

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    1. i'm so glad you've gotten the chance to see it <3

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